It’s Time for Pie!

Now that we’re all recovering from the madness of Festivus and the Airing of the Grievances is done for another year, ( I say that now…)  it’s time to celebrate that simple fact with what else but Hot, Delicious Pie?

Muy Caliente!

You deserve to know what I’ve been obsessing and salivating over, so tuck in!

Who’s Hungry?

The lovely vampire, Mitchell (Aidan Turner) in the very excellent and original UK versh of “Being Human“

Who said I DIDN’T have a bijou thing for hot vampires?

Heart Songs…

[The post title is the name of a brilliant Weezer song...as in "these are my heart songs, they never feel wrong"...]

Everybody’s got them and these are mine.

The Cure, The Same Deep Water As You.

“kiss me goodbye pushing out before i sleep
can’t you see i try swimming the same deep
water as you is hard “the shallow drowned lose
less than we” you breathe the strangest twist
upon your lips “and we shall be together…”

Gother Than Thou… You Fucking Twats.

A pogo stick, sans Jesus, yesterday.

Ranty McRantypants™ is back in the hiz-ouse so listen up! All aboard the clue train, they’re about to go for free…

These are the worthless fuckstains yanking my chain right this minute… and here’s me, like some kind of useless plonker, sans chainsaw. *fume*

“I’m-so-fucking-goth-I-shit-bats!”

FARK OFF YOU USELESS WANKER! Jesus “Flamin’ Pogo Stick” Chrimbo. Who the fuck are you and why on Io would I give a flying inch of desiccated bat scrotum about you?  Is it because  you’re the latest  supergoth floating about the internetz espousing just how awesomely ‘goff, innit?’ you are? 

Long hair, crap eyeliner and ripped black clothes do not a goth make. Nor do your ‘I-just-boarded-this-belief-system-sooooo-five-minutes-ago’ views on Satanism a la Anton LaVey (UGH-GUH-FUH!!! REALLY???) or your falsified idea of what Wicca is because tv told you it was cool and you could summon demons or make your dog float around the room.

Prick!

*head graphically exploding*

(and not because of any supposed witchiness…psht!)

Really, you’re about as hardcore as ‘The Trio’ (i.e. blancmange!)

Almost Festivus Pie

FYI: NSFW [in places]!

Well unholy frakken corpsicles, y’all!

I’ve been out of the kitchen for far too long but Nigella has inspired me to get back in here and get crackalating.  Thx, Nigella! You’re all sorts of awesome.

Nigella, awesome-osity AND cupcakes. Sweet!

While I’m not Nigella, I am a fabulous PieMaker. I’ve even remembered to bring the rosemary and salt for the salting and burning ceremony afterwards. Thoughtful, no?

Anycrap, seeing as Festivus is almost upon us yet again (REALLY? WTFIUWT??), I figured that it was about time I whipped up something extra sexical for you hornbags.

So here tis -

The Almost Festivus Pie!

Have at it…

Dates with Deliciousness

The last little smidge of the year has so far been in-fuckin-credible, tour wise.

Jeffree Star (GLITTERY PINK GLAMOUR!), Adam Lambert (DOUBLE GLITTERY GLAMOUR!) and Pendulum (RAVE-TASTICAL GLAMOUR!) have happened or are about to happen.

Fiiiiiierce. They has it.

Happy Happy, Joy Joy!

Here’s some stuff that makes me stupid happy.

Because, sometimes, you need to. Like right now.

Powdered Toast Maaaaaaaannnn!

Are you gripping tenaciously to his buttocks?

Can’t really go wrong with that now can you?

Sometimes Brutal, Always Amazing: Get Some!

Image by mr. nightshade via Flickr

Hey y’all.  Thought I’d share some radness, just for something different.

Seems all these creative types have been busy creating awesomely creative stuff for me to spam at share with you.

Nice of ‘em!

Without further ado, let’s get bizzay!

But just before we do – check that zombie survival kit over there.

Note the name.

WTF, YO?

I’m sure we’d be great mates considering we have such impeccable taste in names.

Surely?

Evs, back to your regularly scheduled program of awesomely awesome brutality! GO!!

How “Night of the Sun” Broke Teh Interwebz

Internet breaker.

Dear Internet,

After the airing of episode 8, season 3 of  True Blood, you are hereby officially deemed to be broken.

This may be shocking news, but be assured that our technicians will be working on rectifying the issue(s) within the next 48-72 hours. Or days. It’s unclear as to when the technicians will actually turn up, you know what they can be like.

In the meantime, be assured that we are thoroughly investigating the cause of the breakage.  So far, all fault seems to lie with a blonde Viking and his liaison with Talbot and to a lesser degree, Lafayette and Jesus.

Yes, Jesus broke the internet.

We were just as shocked as you.

Sincerely,

*[not]AB & The TB writing staff.

*perve material hiding under the cut*

A Tale of 3 Pretties…

Once upon a time, there were three pretties which heartily took Nightshade’s fancy… and the things they did with her fancy are too fantastical to mention within these pages.

So you’ll have to settle for the tales as reported thusly…

Eyes Wide Open (Israel)

Gather round internet, I’m about to get fappy about this film and so should you.

Why? Let me tell you aaaall about it.

Zohar Strauss and Ran Danker in the beautifully restrained “Eyes Wide Open“

Special Edition Pie!: Ben Barnes

The delightful Ms Jedi propositioned me a VERREH long time ago to create a Pie!spam of one fabulush Ben Barnes in her honour.

So here it is at long bloody last. HUZZAH!!

Have at it and line up for seconds, snootchies!

*HARDCORE FAPPING COMMENCING IN 3… 2… oops…*

Movie Review – The Fall (Tarsem Singh)

The Fall – Tarsem Singh (2006)

A lovely little package of blu-ray goodies rocked up a couple of days ago. I was itching to see ‘The Fall’ as it hasn’t come out in cinema’s here (as far as I’m aware) and I’d loved the visuals of ‘The Cell’ so it had promise. It didn’t disappoint.

The official blurb goes like this… In 1920’s Los Angeles, Alexandria, a 5 year old girl hospitalised from a fall, strikes up an unlikely friendship with Roy, a Hollywood stuntman shattered by a near-fatal movie set accident and his lover’s betrayal. To pass the time, he tells Alexandra the epic story of Governor Odious and the 5 remarkable heroes determined to defeat him – a dazzling world of magic and myth. Only when the line between reality and fantasy begins to dissolve does Alexandria truly realise how much is at stake.

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Vampires. So Hot Right Now.

This will probably seem trite – but D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.F.C.?

(Do I Look Like I Give A Flying Fucking Continental?)

NYET!

But those damn Wamphyr. They’re so damn hot right now.

Let’s count all the hot vampires!

Well, for some of us (ahem!) they have been on the radar in some form or other, for-like-ever! (see what I did tharr? haw!!)

I present the following to you for your serious consideration.

Hard Decisions are, like, Hard and stuff.

Oh yeah, we gots those in hyah. Get Some!

Anycrap, join me for some fictional vampire objectifying won’t you?

The objectifying is real, even if the dirty vamps aren’t (bollocks).

Smashing the Brainbox

These things have been kicking my arse and taking names very recently and in the best way possible.

Please be joining me in my current bout of ludicrous obsessiveness…

1. KICK ASS

Ridiculous lashings of violence and gore and unexpected awesomeness from Nic Cage.

I mean that because I generally don’t love Nic Cage in anything. So, there’s that…

Kick Ass really is all that and a box of bazooka shells. Should I get to be a superhero, just because, my name is totally gonna be TAKE NAMES and my costume will be all sorts of purpley, silvery, glittery magnificence.  And here’s how it would play out…

Variations on a Theme…

My rabid obsession with Spike & Angel madly rutting each other through mattresses/floors/walls/car bonnets  is no secret.

IRREFUTABLE proof of their rampant buttsexing. Whores.

Sometimes the obsession goes into hibernation (forced or otherwise) so I can concentrate on other things, but it’s never for too long.  Spike and Dean are now on the case which is a lovely distraction in and of itself.  As well as providing a bit of variety. Unf!!

Supernatural Japanime!

You read that right.

This shit is totally happening.

In Japan!!!

All Very Interesting

Wordle is the new Blog.

I got hooked on Wordle word pictures one night.

So I copied and pasted the text one of my blogs – Where Have I Been? – and this is what came out.

Click on the picture to read it on the Wordle page more clearly.