Special Edition Pie!: Brandon Routh

Hey internet.

I know I’ve been MIA and I will explain all (i.e. bore you to DEATH and back again) with tales of that shortly.

In the meantime, we have important matters to discuss, namely Brandon Routh.

First off, I know this guy has been around for a while. Nightshade is often slow on the uptake with these things and needs to be reminded – sometimes a lot – of how good something is.  True. Fax.

ANYWHUT….

Superman.

(Yeah, no fucking kidding right?)

Face!

The rest of it!

IT IS APPARENT THAT I CLEARLY DID NOT UNDERSTAND THAT AWLA THAT WAS GOING ON AND I HEARTILY APOLOGISE.

Secondly, why did no-one bring this to my attention – all proper like – before this juncture?

No matter, my good mate Chuck has saved the day.

10-4 good buddy! Thx for the heads up and all…

Now for the important stuff…

I can confirm that much fapping and pontificating on his unabashed lushness occurred upon viewing the following so BE WARNED, yo.

Screencaps from the episode “Chuck Vs. The Fake Name”. Also providing further shocking (and somewhat superfluous) evidence that TOWELS ARE EVIL!!

I couldn’t really tell you what happened, as you can understand… but here’s my version of events…

Agent Shaw: Oh hai, Sarah. What’s crackalatin’?

Agent Walker: *guuuuhhhh!* (incoherent mumbling)

Agent Shaw: Wait, what? I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that…

Agent Walker: Nothing. I didn’t say anything.  Hey, look at that really interesting thing over there.

Agent Shaw: Come on in and I’ll show it to you in more detail…

Agent Walker:  Sure! *Resist the urge to smack that! Monkey grip, Sarah! MONKEY GRIP!!! *

Agent Shaw: My eyes aren’t down there, Sarah…

Agent Walker: Oh, no, I uh… was just looking at…uh… something else…totally interesting.

Agent Shaw: Sorry Sarah, I think I have some water in my ear, I still can’t hear you properly.  I’ll just whip this towel off and try getting it out.

Agent Walker: Heavens no, Agent Shaw. We’re colleagues and need to keep it strictly BLAH BLAH BLAH… my own imagination stopped paying attention here because it was clearly being an arsehole or it could just be what was really going on. Suckness in any case.

Agent Shaw: Well, if you insist that I MUST put something on….

The world viewing population in deafening unison: NOOOOOOOOOO!

I literally jumped out of my seat at this point and cussed out the writers for depriving me of this smexiness for a few more nanoseconds. HOW VERY DARE THEY! But at the same time, I am thankful for this delicious helping of eye reapage. Bless their cotton socks! Ambivalence – how I love and hate you equally…

Hey internet, do you think you could give me a hand with this?

Some of us: Sorry, but our hands are totally busy with other things right now.

The rest of us: *GRABBY HAND STAMPEDE*

I honestly have no clue as to how Ms Strahovski managed keeping her composure around all of that… although I wonder how many takes were required, you know, just to be sure the lighting… and the blessed, delicious angles are right… and all that ludicrously technical jazz.

You totes would.

Which would only be right.

This tie was driving me INSANE! That’s better…

Disclaimer: I will not be held responsible for resulting explosions in the knicker department, wild fapping, racing pulses, hot flushes, the irresistible and inexplicable urge to dry hump walls, palpitations, unbidden grunting, squealing and/or odd animal noises, rampant squeeing, incidences of the vapours, assorted mistiness or any other overt visceral reaction to the above ridiculosity.  You’ll just have to walk it off or I dunno, knit, or something.

Meanwhile: bunk x ages.

Can I get an AMEN?

~Finique~