Once upon a time, there were three pretties which heartily took Nightshade’s fancy… and the things they did with her fancy are too fantastical to mention within these pages.
So you’ll have to settle for the tales as reported thusly…
Eyes Wide Open (Israel)
Gather round internet, I’m about to get fappy about this film and so should you.
Why? Let me tell you aaaall about it.
Zohar Strauss and Ran Danker in the beautifully restrained “Eyes Wide Open“
“Eyes Wide Open” is not to be confused with the truly awful Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman vehicle “Eyes Wide Shut” or “Open Your Eyes” (Abro Los Ojos) upon which the utterly uninspired American remake entitled “Vanilla Sky” is based. Eyes Wide Open is a love story set against abstinence and quiet self-discipline in the world of Hasidic Judaism.
Eyes Wide Open is a quiet film with periods of no dialogue the only the sounds being those of the world around the characters. It also works wonderfully with the theme of restraint in a deeply religious society where homosexuality is outlawed. This is a film that will stay with you and as one reviewer stated had him “dragging my feet down the street”.
Yep, totes Pie! worthy.
Of course, I loved it. And not just because Ran Danker is the new Pie! boy on my radar because of his ridic hotness. All I can tell you is that this film sits very high on my list of favourites. OK, I’ve fapped enough about it’s gorgeousness. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE seek this film out and share your thoughts. *squeeee!*
Inception
I didn’t love it. My fiancée (and the rest of humanity) thinks it’s the bees knees and will be lining up to see it again. Meanwhile, I fell asleep a couple of times. It must have been all that talk about dreams and stuff… or I was tired and it didn’t hold my interest. Leonardo DiCaprio just isn’t that watchable in my opinion – not that he’s bad, I just don’t care enough to watch him.
Unfortunately, it appears that I’m the only person who doesn’t love Inception. Everyone else is jizzing their britches and frothing at the mouth about how it’s a modern classic. What? I must have missed that memo…
Although, the one thing I COULD NOT STOP OBSESSIVELY OBSESSING OVER on the big screen was this…
Tom Hardy as Eames.
More specifically, the mouth region. (NB: I was unable to focus in on that lushness without the pic going all pixelated and bad res so I flagged it and left well alone…)
I mean, look at those things! There sooo, like, out there.*nom nom nom*
Then, via the rabbit hole that is the internerdz, I discovered something shocking. Only because I totally forgot about it and I felt like a regular dumbarse because of it. I’m sure I have some really valid reasons for not remembering it. Or not.
THE THING I TOTES FORGOT: Tom Hardy played Praetor Shinzon in Star Trek: Nemesis all the way back in 2001/2002. WHADDUPYO?! Awesomeness. I remember digging that film because it’s Next Gen Star Trek with Picard and Data and Dana Troy (woot!) and Nightshade is a proud Next Gen geek (none of the others so don’t even ask…)
Badassery in the Star Trek hizzay... set your phasers to FAP.
Pendulum
I’ve only recently stumbled across their brilliant electro/synth/occasionally 80′s style radness and I just can’t get enough, I just can’t get enough, I just can’t get enough and I think you get the point. I also wonder why it took me so damned long to hear about them. Probably because I hate most things — so there is that. Anywhut, I’m going to see them in November. Hooweee!
Raise the roof, y’all !!
Bonus Information: They’re from Perth and they did a pretty effin’ neato remix of the ABC News theme a few years back. Yoootoobz that shit!
Jeffree Star
O*M*F*Stars! J-Star is coming to Melbourne in September and I may be going it alone. But no matter, it will still be off the fucking wall crazytacular! Look at him down thar in all his plastic, tattooed, slutty glory. Guh!!
I LOVE YOUR RIDICULOUS PLASTIC FACE!!!
Hardcore loving the shit out of the “Beauty Killer” video.
I’m just gonna go over here to sit and stare at that ridic face for a bit longer, talk amongst yourselves!
For now — the tale endeth here in a glorious swish of hot pink chiffon, a fucktonne of Absolut and a shimmery haze of glittery magnificence.
Eleganza extraveganza!!
And they all lived happily (and very drunkenly, sluttily and shambolically) ever after…
Pics courtesy of Austin Young, gigwise dot com, listal dot com.
~Finique!~
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- Eyes Wide Open | Film review (guardian.co.uk)
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