The Bale Out… of Awesome.

My new favouritest thing this week.  Apart from the gayest pr0n dreams ever, but that’s for later and after quite a few bevvies.

Y’all would have seen/heard this. And if you haven’t, you’re in for a fuckload of lulz! GO NOW!!! Oh Christian Bale, you’s so cranky! And the story about just WTF it’s all about.  How’s life under that rock treatin’ ya?

Henceforth, it shall be ripped on forevermore. Or until the funny runs out… Bring it Conan & Mr Lipton!

And now for the uber brill remix…

Wait… shhhhhh! You hear that? That’s the sound of awesome… as it invades your brainworms.

And it’s fucking distracting.

Oh good.

Festivus Pie!

Keep your knickers on, ho ho hos! It’s Festivus which definitely requires Pie in order to celebrate correctly. And booze.  And certainly orgies. Caligula ain’t got shit!  Check the wiki on it.

Just so it’s abundantly clear – it’s absolutely not the other thing… Chrimbo or whatevs.  Shun the absolute fuck outta that noise! And here’s a poem which illustrates this point…somewhat. *ahem*  “I am an island, I am an isthmus, I come from Bermuda, I don’t believe in Christmas!” True enough.

Let’s begin our celebration with a luscious piegasm, extra knicks on standby ploize snootchies.  Coz we is all gonna get the “lonely island” treatment all up in the hiz-ouse and Nightshade does not need to be busting out the rosemary and salting and burning after you lot! Be prepared!!!

Bruce Willis a la “The Fifth Element“.  With or without hair, I’d seriously go there. So would you and you know it!

Fresh Pie! Direct From The Oven…

Holla at me, snootchies. I know y’all been waitin’ on more Pie!, the kitchen is fully stocked and we’re ready to roll out some fresh menu items…

Here’s what we’re serving up this week.

Check with your server for today’s Specials!!

Christian Bale, work that tanning bed OUT son!

Hugh Jackman, get your wet clothes off IMMEDIATELY!!