Almost Festivus Pie

FYI: NSFW [in places]!

Well unholy frakken corpsicles, y’all!

I’ve been out of the kitchen for far too long but Nigella has inspired me to get back in here and get crackalating.  Thx, Nigella! You’re all sorts of awesome.

Nigella, awesome-osity AND cupcakes. Sweet!

While I’m not Nigella, I am a fabulous PieMaker. I’ve even remembered to bring the rosemary and salt for the salting and burning ceremony afterwards. Thoughtful, no?

Anycrap, seeing as Festivus is almost upon us yet again (REALLY? WTFIUWT??), I figured that it was about time I whipped up something extra sexical for you hornbags.

So here tis -

The Almost Festivus Pie!

Have at it…

Dates with Deliciousness

The last little smidge of the year has so far been in-fuckin-credible, tour wise.

Jeffree Star (GLITTERY PINK GLAMOUR!), Adam Lambert (DOUBLE GLITTERY GLAMOUR!) and Pendulum (RAVE-TASTICAL GLAMOUR!) have happened or are about to happen.

Fiiiiiierce. They has it.

Special Edition Pie!: Ben Barnes

The delightful Ms Jedi propositioned me a VERREH long time ago to create a Pie!spam of one fabulush Ben Barnes in her honour.

So here it is at long bloody last. HUZZAH!!

Have at it and line up for seconds, snootchies!

*HARDCORE FAPPING COMMENCING IN 3… 2… oops…*

Vampires. So Hot Right Now.

This will probably seem trite – but D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.F.C.?

(Do I Look Like I Give A Flying Fucking Continental?)

NYET!

But those damn Wamphyr. They’re so damn hot right now.

Let’s count all the hot vampires!

Well, for some of us (ahem!) they have been on the radar in some form or other, for-like-ever! (see what I did tharr? haw!!)

I present the following to you for your serious consideration.

Hard Decisions are, like, Hard and stuff.

Oh yeah, we gots those in hyah. Get Some!

Anycrap, join me for some fictional vampire objectifying won’t you?

The objectifying is real, even if the dirty vamps aren’t (bollocks).

Happiness Is…

We all know that’s there’s a veritable cornucopia of things that irritate me.

These things are not them.

While not all things are rainbows and lollipops, these little points of light have elevated my spirits above the daily assault of the rancid quagmire of human filth and stupidity.

The first one being this…

PRECIOUS SKYWATER!!!!!!!!

Yup, good old RAIN.

About frakken time.  It’s been bucketing down (momentarily) and I’ve been loving it.  YAY!!!

Just so we’re clear, I wasn’t talking about this guy…

The Korean Megastar, Rain.

Actually, that makes me happy too.

Gothtober is Over…

… well, that was a rousing failure.

Mostly because I gave up after I started because life/work/other things got in the way as they invariably do.

Anyway, we missed a couple of important things and I need to redress it with this post.

Firstly – it was C. I.’s FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!

HAAAAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAAAAYYYYYY TO BLOG!

So I’ve officially been talking shit on the interwebz for 12 months now.  I don’t know if that’s something to celebrate or commiserate.

Either way, pass the Bacardi!

Also?

PIE.

*nom nom nom*

GET SOME…

True Blood: Screw You Eric Northman!

Nightshade is a dirty addict!!

Alan Ball loves me!

Not really, but damn has he got a direct line to my brainworms or what?

Seems there’s been some dialogue going on.

Awesome.

Sauce.

But I digress!

So, the last few eps of Season 2 of True Blood have gone right for the heart wrenching gut punch.

Most would disagree, but to those I say kindly go tongue a rusty nut.  I’m not referring to the ones found in toolboxes either. Psssht!

POSSIBLE SEASON TWO SPOILER ALERTS AHEAD…

Just so you don’t bitch me out about it…

Overdue Pie… Better Than Bad, It’s Good.

Hookers!!

Scootch your chairs in closer, strap on your bestest dribble bibs and slip into your most indestructible knicks.  You’re getting some overdue Pie!

Let’s tuck right in, shall we?

Sakis Rouvas ~save that spot! Will be there ASAP.

Special Edition Pie!spam

Once again, I have let my piemaking duties slide.

I’ve been busy socialising (whuuuut?!) and working the shit out of my all consuming re-obsession with Spike & Angel (picspam is currently a WIP).

It’s a tough gig, let me assure you.

Anywhut, let me make it up to you in the best possible way.  Meet me behind the bike shed in…  hold up! … you’re not getting THAT kind of lemme-make-it-up-to-you pie.  Ung!

This weeks’ specialty  is the uber lush Sakis Rouvas.  He’s totes PIEWORTHY and therefore scores his very own Pie!spam.

Really worthy.

I’m even considering switching my pantheon of Gods/Goddesses to Greek from Egyptian.  Because, really.

Have you SEEN him?

If you have eyes and they are currently working, you’re should be quite *moist* right about now…

CONTINUE!

Distraction Pie.

I know, that probably doesn’t make any sense.  But I? Am in dire need of distraction. From porn (wait… whut?!… who wrote this?!). From work. From my fucking hating brainworms.  From everything, just because and ad infinitum.

Without further ado, I invite y’all to get well and truly distracted by this shit.

And keep your knitting needles handy…

Ryan McPartlin, his character on CHUCK ain’t called “Awesome” for nothing.

I mean, look at how he’s handling that bulge… it’s fucking distracting!