How “Night of the Sun” Broke Teh Interwebz

Internet breaker.

Dear Internet,

After the airing of episode 8, season 3 of  True Blood, you are hereby officially deemed to be broken.

This may be shocking news, but be assured that our technicians will be working on rectifying the issue(s) within the next 48-72 hours. Or days. It’s unclear as to when the technicians will actually turn up, you know what they can be like.

In the meantime, be assured that we are thoroughly investigating the cause of the breakage.  So far, all fault seems to lie with a blonde Viking and his liaison with Talbot and to a lesser degree, Lafayette and Jesus.

Yes, Jesus broke the internet.

We were just as shocked as you.

Sincerely,

*[not]AB & The TB writing staff.

*perve material hiding under the cut*

All Very Interesting

Wordle is the new Blog.

I got hooked on Wordle word pictures one night.

So I copied and pasted the text one of my blogs – Where Have I Been? – and this is what came out.

Click on the picture to read it on the Wordle page more clearly.

Vampires. So Hot Right Now.

This will probably seem trite – but D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.F.C.?

(Do I Look Like I Give A Flying Fucking Continental?)

NYET!

But those damn Wamphyr. They’re so damn hot right now.

Let’s count all the hot vampires!

Well, for some of us (ahem!) they have been on the radar in some form or other, for-like-ever! (see what I did tharr? haw!!)

I present the following to you for your serious consideration.

Hard Decisions are, like, Hard and stuff.

Oh yeah, we gots those in hyah. Get Some!

Anycrap, join me for some fictional vampire objectifying won’t you?

The objectifying is real, even if the dirty vamps aren’t (bollocks).

Gothtober is Over…

… well, that was a rousing failure.

Mostly because I gave up after I started because life/work/other things got in the way as they invariably do.

Anyway, we missed a couple of important things and I need to redress it with this post.

Firstly – it was C. I.’s FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!

HAAAAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAAAAYYYYYY TO BLOG!

So I’ve officially been talking shit on the interwebz for 12 months now.  I don’t know if that’s something to celebrate or commiserate.

Either way, pass the Bacardi!

Also?

PIE.

*nom nom nom*

GET SOME…

Ohhhh Sweet Sweet Nectah!

Honestly, you would think I had some kind of SICK obsession or something wouldn’t you?

But it’s not entirely all my fault.

Not when you’ve got glorious shenanigans like THIS (<<<CLICK IIIIIIT!) occurring. YUSS!

Honestly, can you blame me? Look at awla THAT!!

Seriously. Can John Barrowman GET any more faptacular???

Check those fucking legs out!!! Is it wrong that I wanna lick them from ankle to arse hump?

GODS-BE-ALL-SORTS-OF-WELL-AND-TRULY-FUCKING-DAMNED!!!!

GTFO you saucy minx, you make me wanna clutch my pearls!!

True Blood: Screw You Eric Northman!

Nightshade is a dirty addict!!

Alan Ball loves me!

Not really, but damn has he got a direct line to my brainworms or what?

Seems there’s been some dialogue going on.

Awesome.

Sauce.

But I digress!

So, the last few eps of Season 2 of True Blood have gone right for the heart wrenching gut punch.

Most would disagree, but to those I say kindly go tongue a rusty nut.  I’m not referring to the ones found in toolboxes either. Psssht!

POSSIBLE SEASON TWO SPOILER ALERTS AHEAD…

Just so you don’t bitch me out about it…

Whose Up For A Late Night Manwich?

Obsessed?

Moi?

You say that like it’s a bad thing.

Pssht!

Overdue Pie… Better Than Bad, It’s Good.

Hookers!!

Scootch your chairs in closer, strap on your bestest dribble bibs and slip into your most indestructible knicks.  You’re getting some overdue Pie!

Let’s tuck right in, shall we?

Sakis Rouvas ~save that spot! Will be there ASAP.

Approved! Denied!

Sort that out, you dumb baby!

Are you sitting comfortably? Bring snacks and bevvies. You may wanna schedule in a loo break too coz you’ll be here for a while this week.

Ready? OK.

Walk with me through all things approved and denied this week, won’t you?

It begins… again!

Shenanigan Status: DUUUUUUUUH-NIED!

Children @ Work [1] talking about inane boring bullshit loudly. It seriously gets stuck in my grill and churns my grits.  Do some fucking work you dumbshits!!! Coz I? Don’t give a flying fuck about whether or not you’d fuck your exes bestie.  Really. Just ask me.

Children @ Work [2] Actual small people/babies @ work.You can always tell when someone has dragged their hellspawn (NOT the good kind) into the office so everyone can fawn over them. Just look for the growing gaggle of bitches cooing over said spawn.  Is it gonna do something amazing like solve a rubik’s cube or build a rocket instead of lounging around squealing and farting? No? SRSLY. GTFO.

Forgiveness Pie…

Hmmmm… it’s about that time y’all. I have been slack in my duties as Pie maker. Probably coz I haven’t felt like it… WHUT?! Yeah, I know right?  Sometimes males SHIT me and I’d like nothing more than to have them forcibly removed from the planet. Every last fucking one. But then, I somehow find it in my heart to forgive them… particularly when they pull shit like this…

Ryan Buell… for (and borrowed from) the lovely Jedi!